Watch Incredibles 2 to Reinforce Sexism in Your Children
Long ago I wrote off Hollywood movies and the values that they espouse. My daughters and I chose years ago to be very deliberate in the content we consume. However, last weekend I was asked by them to attend a viewing of the Incredibles 2, paid for by a gift card my daughter received for her birthday. I agreed, and I was quickly reminded why I quit Hollywood.
The movie opens as the Parr family is confronted with a crisis. Their livelihood has been destroyed because someone (government) has outlawed superheroes. The mother Helen, or Elastigirl, is presented with an opportunity to “provide” for the family by participating in a contrived campaign to the general public, funded by the super-rich Winston Deaver to bring back superheroes. She is told that she is more marketable and careful and that the head of the Incredibles and father, Bob, or Mr. Incredible, is much too reckless and bumbling and has a tendency to “let insurance pay for it.”
Almost immediately, and I’m sure you can guess, Bob struggles with being able to handle the household, and Helen is absolutely superb at being the family/world-saving superhero.
“I just need a little ‘me time’,” Bob says as he struggles with helping his son with his math homework and his daughter's romantic challenges and his toddler’s need for non-stop attention. Meanwhile, Helen is an instant superstar, and having mastered the superhero role, appears on talk shows and is espousing female power. Because you know being a mother is not a noble thing for a woman.
The voice behind mother Helen, Holly Hunter, had this to say in an interview with the BBC about the role,
“But I do feel that a result of the movie — whether it’s a purposeful result or not doesn’t even matter — the rush that you get from seeing a woman hero is kind of emotional.”
“This is something we need to have in our cinema, in our lives, in our reference points, in our goals.”
“For a woman to lead, for a woman to be able to be the problem solver in the room, I think there’s nothing but good that can come from that.”
Ok, stop. Enough.
Just as in real life when there are mayhem and destruction creating catastrophes such as hurricanes, tornadoes, or wars, women are the ones who put their lives on the line to protect. Wait…as much as your gender studies professor would like to fantasize about this, it doesn’t actually happen. Men are the ones who inherently and naturally do this. Men are the protectors of women and children. This is natural, and it is good. Men NEED to hear this; so I’ll say it again; as a man, you are the protector of women and children.
As if the homogenization of the sexes isn’t bad enough the movie denigrates the importance and impact of the role of mothers and fathers in a child’s life.
Throughout the movie, the baby, Jack, is treated as a nuisance. Nobody wants to watch the baby. They toss him back and forth between all members of the family, each arguing about who has to care for him. Instead, they want to get into the action of “superheroing.” It is much more exciting and rewarding. Parenting and/or modeling for the benefit of a child…well that’s just old fashioned.
It isn’t until they realize that Jack has superpowers that he becomes of interest, or rather, use when they are able to weaponize him. Yep, weaponize the baby. Nice.
What a great message for the next generation of mothers and fathers: Pursue adventure, excitement, and escapism at all costs including to the detriment of your children. No wonder studies show that the formation of families by the younger generation is dwindling and that the number of single-parent households is skyrocketing. AND that the prevalence of these single-parent households continues to bring greater and greater harm to children, and in turn, society. Think young boys shooting up schools.
The son, Dash Parr, is portrayed ALA Bart Simpson or Chris Griffin as the intellectually challenged, hyperactive, mischievous boy who is constantly needing to be corrected and redirected into a more positive direction. Or in other words, being told to be more like a little girl.
The portrayal of Bob Parr as jealous of his wife, inept and bumbling in the vein of Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, or Al Bundy is the perfect, all too common, stereotyping that Hollywood loves to espouse in demeaning men and their importance within the family and society.
Is it a wonder why, after spending a lifetime of watching movies and TV and being portrayed as inadequate, that young men today are experiencing a “failure to launch?” Or why grown men refuse to, well, act like grown men?
We can combat this problem, though. How?
First, avoid this movie and others like it at all costs. Most of the time, my family does, but unfortunately, in this case, we did not. If they stop becoming blockbuster hits, they will stop being made.
Second, have a healthy conversation with our children about the characters and how they apply to real life. After the movie, I asked my daughters the question, “Do you think Mr. Incredible is like most fathers?” Naturally, their initial reaction was that he was not because he is a superhero. But as I pressed a little further into his portrayal as bumbling, their eyes widened with understanding. I then asked, “Do you know any fathers, such as their friends’ fathers, who were bumbling like Mr. Incredible?” None of them did. In fact, they all pointed out many great qualities they had observed in other fathers they have met.
We also chatted about family and children, reinforcing with them how important they are, and that being a father to them is not only a privilege but brings me joy and pleasure. We had additional dialogue around fathers, mothers, children, roles/role models, and the importance of family.
While the first step is the only thing that will force Hollywood to change their portrayal of boys and men, the second can be even more transformative for children in the long run if we ALL take the time to have a conversation with them.
— — —
Jude is an Integrative Wellness & Life Transformation Coach and Integrative NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) Practitioner who uses cutting-edge approaches to integrative coaching to help fathers sort through their lives during and after divorce and create an amazing life for themselves and their children.
Learn more at www.TheDivorcedDadvocate.com
